(not that I like Murakami, nor the Steve Miller band)

I recently decided that true love is just the amount of obscure references you can drop and still know what the other is talking about. Score on quantifiables, possibly even countably infinite.

True love is not found through shared consumer experience:
“Wow, you have a Mac too?”
“Yeah, but I dual boot in Gutsy”
“OMG me too! Open source is like, so amazing. Like, why can’t we all just love, you know?”
“Yeah, and I buy vinyl records, support the artists!”
“OMG yeah, no one else cares about music anymore”
“I know, right!?”
“Man, I totally adore -random indie rock band-, look at my fanboy scribblings in my Moleskin.”
“Which by the way prove I liked their FIRST album.”
“Wow, you write poetry?”
“Oh, no, how did you find that? -dismal handwave- Please don’t read it!”

True love:
“Hey, I can haz your number?”
“Sure, black blue yellow purple black green grey white purple black”
“Ha, is that green soylent green?”
“Yeah, mostly Wilde, damn tasty those goths”
“Not that carnation! -projectile vomit- Next jam please”
“It’s a toss up: MEGAtronic pump it up, and the obvious”
“But what if we all thought the eighties were a good idea?”
“Then I’d certainly be a damned fool to think any other way, wouldn’t I?”
“Shush! To war! Oversell your sulphur! To phonies!”
“Nofe air! Nofe air!”
“But Livia! I am your nephew!”
“Don’t you go all Almodovar on me asshole, I fucked Swank proper”
“Proper fuck?”
“Proper like on an island with piggy”
“Aww, shiit, that was too easy. No one invited Freud to tea, don’t fight with rocks. I mean, don’t look, but I think we is being followed by aliems”
“You mean Pietro Aretino”
“I mean your MOM, jabberwocky”
“1234 1234 rock facts rock facts!”
“True or false: Ain’t seen nothing, till you’ve been down on a muffin”
“True! I am Jack’s syphilis infested junk”
“In a BOX”
“At SEA”
“Pirates!”
“C’mon, do the Prince Charming.”

Note: lolcats reference is entirely ironic, and therefore needs to be said with Sean Connery’s Bond accent. Can I hassh, msshhh Moneypenny.